Medical or Miracle?

Depending upon one’s understanding of Scripture and their interpretation of divine healing, there are different views on this subject. Debating the topic is not the purpose of this blog. I personally have experienced a medically verified supernatural healing and I also know that not everyone we pray for gets healed. The theme of this blog centers on how we can reconcile the two.

If you’ve followed my journey over these many months, you know that it has been my desire to be an example of how to handle adversity as a Christ-follower. I’ve sought to be positive, encouraging, and upbeat. I’ve had many opportunities to share with others and the Lord has opened so many doors to point people to Him. Opportunities that I wouldn’t have had if I didn’t have cancer.

The reason I wanted to model adversity was that I’ve seen Christians either fall apart or mask their situation with some super spiritual persona, neither of which, in my opinion, are healthy coping mechanisms for Christ-followers. We have to be honest with the reality we are dealing with. I’m going to try to be totally honest in what I’m about to say. 

These months have not been easy. At first it was easier to have hope as I looked to the future. I was praying that chemotherapy would do its job and dissolve the tumor, and I would live out my retirement as I had envisioned. Then came surgery followed by setback after setback, several hospital stays, and a stint in a rehabilitation facility. While I was there, my oncologist called me to tell me that I had the equivalent of stage four cancer and there was no cure. After years of giving pastoral care to people with similar circumstances, I was now one of them. I had a terminal illness. Apart from divine intervention, I will not get better. How do you model that?

Jesus and I have had many, many conversations in this journey. I’ve asked Him to heal me, but I know He asked His Father to remove a cup from Him, but He acquiesced to His Father’s will over His own. He set an example for me. Jesus has repeatedly told me to trust Him, to draw close in His presence, which I am learning to do, but I still ask. 

My mind goes places where I don’t want it to go. I struggle with what is coming. What will the remaining time be like? I have down days. I’m human. Could it be that He wants me to model the end of life as a follower of Jesus? He and I are still having those conversations. I haven’t wavered from the commitment that I made to Jesus on July 7, 2022, to be an example, and I continue to be firm in that commitment.

I still covet your prayers,  but I did not write this to illicit sympathy or pity. There are so many people whose situations are much worse than mine. We all know someone like that. I pray for them more than I pray for myself.

Medical or miracle? It continues to be an interesting journey. Stay tuned. I’m trusting Jesus on this one. It’s His call; He has the answer.